Walta's Back!!

I haven't been on for awhile and posted anything.  In part because I don't have a laptop anymore, but also because I got so worked up in working.

Which is a horrible reason because I was using work as a distraction from my problems.  I think that is something I have always done.  Worked 50 to 70 hours a week in order to keep my mind off of things that are going on in my life.  Cuz when I am no working, I am left to my thoughts.  Thoughts that drive me up the wall!  

So I am back, back to release my thoughts.  To  open up to the world again.  To hopefully help not only myself, but others as well.

To  start with, today marks my 414 days clean from dope.  Something everyday I am so proud of.  It still is crazy to me that I ever allowed myself to get so addicted to something that I hated for so many years.  I still find it unbelievable that I spent so much money and time using something that did nothing but mask my feelings.  At the time it made sense, at the time it worked.

Now that I think about it, that is the same thing I am doing with work right now too.  Using work to mask my feelings.

Speaking about work, I have gotten myself a new job.  I left the nursing home that I worked at for over three years back in June and in July started working at another nursing home.  I love it there.  It is a lot of work at times, keeps me busy, but it also has me using more of my CMT skills and knowledge then I was before.  This new place has also helped me decided that trying for my LPN is the best thing for me to do to kick start my nursing career.  

So that is my plan for next August.  To hopefully be accepted to this accelerated LPN program from one of the best schools around me.

I am excited

I am nervous 

I am scared

But I am determined too!

Nursing is what I love, it is what I am passionate about, it is a job that I would love to wake up  and do every single day of the week.  It is where my heart is, so I must follow my heart!

Something I was always scared of doing; following my heart.

In the past my heart has lead me down painful pathways, but not this year.  2016 really has been the year for me.  I have finally put myself first and my happiness first and have been nothing but satisfied since then.  Putting myself first has allowed me to enjoyed my time, be happy with work, with friends, family, and in my new relationship.

Yes, that is right, I am not single.  

For once this is a relationship that wasn't rushed.  We met back in March and dated for months until I finally worked up the nerve to ask him to be my boyfriend on May 6th.   Dating him has been one of the best times of my life.  We never have a dull moment together.  We always laugh, talk, and adventure.

He's understanding.

He's caring.

He's outgoing.

He's funny.

He's adorable.

He's all mine.

I could talk about his for hours honestly, but I know that would just lead to me rambling.  So I wanted to end this out by saying I'm back!! Be ready for more post from me.  Hopefully ones that are helpful of course!

Feel free to comment, I would love to hear from some of those who read these.

Other ways to follow ME!

So for all those people who read my blogs every time I post one I want to say THANK YOU!!! You guys are why I am doing this blog.  This blog isn't just to help me express my emotions, feelings, discuss my troubles, or just vent.  This blog is also to hopefully reach out to those who have or are struggling with some of the same things that I discuss in my blogs.  So knowing that you all are reading my blog lets me know that maybe one day I will be able to help someone somewhere!! So please continue to read, tell your friends, share my blog link to your friends.  I am not ashamed of what I will discuss on here and am happy to have anyone anywhere read along!

This brings me to something exciting I want to start doing that I will start working on today!  I'm going to start using my YouTube channel as a way for you all to see how my day to day life is like.  Mainly in the beginning, or possibly the entire time, the videos will be of me driving.  Showing you how frustrating my Intoxalock system can be, but also show you my more fun, crazy, entertaining side that comes out when I'm driving alone in my car.

I look forward to getting to show off my more fun side and to hopefully get lots of fun feedback about it!  So I hope you all will start checking out my YouTube channel (which I believe the link is https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPIen7FbUFcIQ7Z6iwg6PiA ) but if anyone isn't able to see anything let me know!

I'm excited about this and have got to cut this blog short to get ready for work and possibly record the first video!

Thanks for reading my readers!

That Moment to be Thankful For.

Today is the 27th which is the fourth Thursday of the month of November in the year 2014.

That basically means: Happy Thanksgiving readers!!!

If you happen to read this post after Thanksgiving, well then happen 

late Thanksgiving!

Well, or Turkey Day if that's what you want to call it.

But anyways, as tradition says: today is the day we enjoy time with families and loved ones being thankful for any and all reasons we have to be thankful for.  

We all have our different reasons for being thankful.  I remember when I was younger I use to always have that one teacher that would always have us either write what we were thankful for or would have us discuss it out loud.

I want to bring that back and do it again.  Obviously I will be writing what I'm thankful for and you all will be reading it, but please feel free to comment and say what your thankful for!

So here it goes!

I am thankful for many things.  To start.  I am thankful for my job.  I love the feeling I get from knowing I take care of people that not only need me but want me to care for them.  I am thankful that no matter how stressful and bad my day is going there is always at least one resident who will know somethings up with me that will remind me that care for me too.  

For example, I had a lady that I barely ever interact with because she is pretty independent call me into her room to say, "Walter, you have been quiet tonight, whats wrong?"

I was like, "Nothing, I'm good." and tried to fake a smile.

"You can try to lie to yourself all you want, but when I haven't heard you burp down the hall at least once in the shift or walk down the hall laughing with a smile on your face then I know something is wrong."  She replied, "I hope your night gets better Hun, tomorrows Thanksgiving.  It's time for you to put some meat on your bones!"  

This just showed me that my residents are able to see when I'm down and want me to be happier.  She put a smile on my face and even made my night a million times better after that.

I am also thankful for many of my coworkers.  We are all a major part of the bottom of the totem pole that holds are place up and together.  We work hard together, we work great together, we stand strong together, and we work through our problems together.  We might not get the recognition from corporate for what we do but we get the recognition from our residents.  Which in the end is all that matters because we are there for them, not for corporate.

I am thank for my friends.  Without you all I would lose my mind faster than anything.  You all are always there when I need someone to talk to ,  you all will always tell me what I need to hear (which isn't always what I want to hear), you all have stuck beside me through the dark year, and you all remain good friends to me.  The fact that you all are who you all are, for that I am thankful for.

I am thankful for my family.  All of my family, blood or not.  Here or gone.  For without family, I would be nothing.  I would not exist had family that is blood but gone not done their part and had family that was blood and still here not raised me I wouldn't be the man I am today.  I would be even more naive had my family that isn't blood but here not been here to open my eyes to the world as I never known it.  For all of my family, I am thankful.  I love each of you very much so, no matter if we are bickering or not.

I am thankful for my mom.  I know it's cliche' for people to be thankful for their mother, but I am.  She showed me through hard work, dedication, and determination that you can get through the hard times and into better, brighter, happier times.  Even if you fall right back into a hard time.  She showed me that you just have to pick yourself back up and get back through it.  She showed me that love is not just word spoken, but it is also sacrificing for the person who you are speaking the word to.  She showed me that love is sticking by the one you love and not giving up but working through things.  She showed me that love still exist even when you don't agree with ones way of life.

Finally, I am thankful that I have had my moment.  You see a moment is different for each person.  It's the moment that changes that persons life forever.  My moment was the night I quit using meth.  It was when I realized that I was truly above all the stupid, pointless, life ruining drugs that I had been using going as far back as when I was 17.  It was when I realized that if I wanted my life to get any better I was going to have to start working hard for it.  I had to make my life better.  I could no longer just sit around and wait for a better life to just happen.  I couldn't just keep depending on others to take care of everything for me.  I had to be independent.  I had to stand on my own two feet.  Now I'm far from 100% independent, but I'm working towards it.  I am fighting for my independence.  I'm fighting to bettering my life.

And that is why, my moment is what I'm most thankful for!

Well and my momma of course!