Walta's Back!!

I haven't been on for awhile and posted anything.  In part because I don't have a laptop anymore, but also because I got so worked up in working.

Which is a horrible reason because I was using work as a distraction from my problems.  I think that is something I have always done.  Worked 50 to 70 hours a week in order to keep my mind off of things that are going on in my life.  Cuz when I am no working, I am left to my thoughts.  Thoughts that drive me up the wall!  

So I am back, back to release my thoughts.  To  open up to the world again.  To hopefully help not only myself, but others as well.

To  start with, today marks my 414 days clean from dope.  Something everyday I am so proud of.  It still is crazy to me that I ever allowed myself to get so addicted to something that I hated for so many years.  I still find it unbelievable that I spent so much money and time using something that did nothing but mask my feelings.  At the time it made sense, at the time it worked.

Now that I think about it, that is the same thing I am doing with work right now too.  Using work to mask my feelings.

Speaking about work, I have gotten myself a new job.  I left the nursing home that I worked at for over three years back in June and in July started working at another nursing home.  I love it there.  It is a lot of work at times, keeps me busy, but it also has me using more of my CMT skills and knowledge then I was before.  This new place has also helped me decided that trying for my LPN is the best thing for me to do to kick start my nursing career.  

So that is my plan for next August.  To hopefully be accepted to this accelerated LPN program from one of the best schools around me.

I am excited

I am nervous 

I am scared

But I am determined too!

Nursing is what I love, it is what I am passionate about, it is a job that I would love to wake up  and do every single day of the week.  It is where my heart is, so I must follow my heart!

Something I was always scared of doing; following my heart.

In the past my heart has lead me down painful pathways, but not this year.  2016 really has been the year for me.  I have finally put myself first and my happiness first and have been nothing but satisfied since then.  Putting myself first has allowed me to enjoyed my time, be happy with work, with friends, family, and in my new relationship.

Yes, that is right, I am not single.  

For once this is a relationship that wasn't rushed.  We met back in March and dated for months until I finally worked up the nerve to ask him to be my boyfriend on May 6th.   Dating him has been one of the best times of my life.  We never have a dull moment together.  We always laugh, talk, and adventure.

He's understanding.

He's caring.

He's outgoing.

He's funny.

He's adorable.

He's all mine.

I could talk about his for hours honestly, but I know that would just lead to me rambling.  So I wanted to end this out by saying I'm back!! Be ready for more post from me.  Hopefully ones that are helpful of course!

Feel free to comment, I would love to hear from some of those who read these.

What Christmas means to me

It is nearly Christmas day.  Is everyone ready?  Do you have all your presents wrapped? Tree up?  Food bought to prepare?

With those questions being asked I want to know, what does Christmas mean to you?

Does it mean lots of presents?

Does it mean a big dinner with family?

Or something else?

To me, Christmas means the year is nearly over.  It means it's nearly time to start a new year; time to start with a fresh slate.  Well not a completely fresh slate, but you get the idea.  

Have you heard of "New Year's Resolutions"?  How many of you have made them before and by the end of January have completely given up on them?  I know I have!  

That's why this year I want to try something different.  In stead of making New Year's resolutions, I just want to make a plan for my new year and follow through on it.  

"Well isn't that the same thing?" you may be asking.

Well, I don't think so.  You see, many people say "I want to quit smoking as my new years resolution"  and by the end of third day they go right back to smoking.

Where as, with my plan, I want to get a hospital job which means I have to quit to smoking since most hospitals in my area will not hire smokers.  So, instead of waiting till the first of year to "quit" smoking I went to my doctor to talk to him about what I should do medication wise to quit smoking.  He prescribed me Wellbutrin XL which has an off label use to help people quit smoking.  You smoke on it for the first week and then you stop and it helps control the mood problems that are associated with quitting smoking.

See the difference there? I planned ahead, I started working on my plan before the first of the year.  I Believe New Year's resolutions fail because people people think things can easily be instantly stopped.  Hell even if your resolution was going to be to quit shopping so much, do you really think you can just stop doing that because a new year started? 

My next step in my plan is to move out on my own again and into my own loft in downtown Kansas City.  Instead of waiting till the first of the year, I have already started looking around for places and have even set up an appointment to go view a few different lofts with this company called Mac Properties.  I told them that I wouldn't be moving in until at the latest March first but that I wanted to weigh my options out now and have plenty of time to decided. 

You see, Christmas is a magical time.  Not only because it brings families together, but it also means your year is almost over.  It means you get to start a new year with a chance to make major changes in your life.  Change is scary, which is why I think so many people fail at their "New Year's Resolutions".

So planning it out ahead of time, starting the change before the new year starts, and taking the steps slowly is, in my opinion, the best way to accomplish a new years resolution.

So although it is already New Year's Eve and this post took me a little longer to post then expected (sorry drowned myself in work to avoid issues at home) there is still plenty of time to plan out what you want to change next year and set that plan into motion.

With all that said, I want to wish all of my readers a (late) Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year's! I hope your Christmas' were magical and Santa brought you all that you wanted.  I also hope you all have a safe New Year's Eve and have the time of your life!  Make the start of 2015 something amazing so that way you have solid foundation to make the rest of the year something even more amazing!