Accomplishments Come in All Sizes

Woke up early today to go get my blood drawn; always a good time at 7:45 am! 

Took a nice little ride home and decided to go down memory lane

here on blogger and read some of my past posts.

It was then that I had realized it has been A YEAR since I started this blogger account!  That was quite exciting to me! Looking back, I truly loved viewing my post that have had the most views and remember what the topics were about.  It made me remember why I started this blog; to help people who read it.  To share my experiences as a way to relay a  message to all of my readers of all ages.  

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Although, I know I went offline for for a couple of months (a couple of different times!) I still want to do what I originally set out to do! So I decided to take it old school in the since I want to go back to talking about other things then what has been in my most recent blogs.

But, hopefully you all enjoyed those blogs too!

So here we go,

back to the old days.

Well first things first, I don't think I have ever really shown any pictures of myself on here.  Probably, because most my readers know who I am.  Which means they should know I just love to show off this picture because it is a picture of my Spotacus and I in our winter pictures taken.  Mind you, I had totally forgotten to do my hair before I went because I was too busy making sure he looked good, so you have to just ignore my hair:

That's my baby and I!

He's just the cutest little brat you could ask for.  He's the only one that can give me the Puppy Eye's look and make me fall for it.  And Lord only knows he loves his treats!  That's besides the point though, that guy in the blue shirt holding him up, that's me!  

By the way, Thank you JcPenny's Portrait Studio for the great photo shoot and the amazing pictures! Plus, thank you Groupon for the amazing deal on the JcPenny's Portrait Studio photo shoot!

I haven't had my pictures professionally taken for quite awhile.  Since my last family photo, a long time ago, I think.  

So, when I started this blog, I didn't really introduce myself (to all those who don't know me at least).  Well I'm Walter.  I live in the Suburbs of Kansas City, Mo.  The heart of the United States.

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I mean right smack there in the dead center of the continental US.

I am 24 and have lived here for, pretty much, almost 18 years of my life.  I am gay, as many of you can tell or already know.  If you are just now finding out....well now you know! 

I have a weird sense of humor and have to feel like I'm using my voice even through text. 

That's why I feel the need to change the color, or style, or 

even

the

alignment

throughout my blogs.  I feel like it emphasizes the words 

or is just fun for me to do. 

I have traveled to two other states, driven through a few, and live in two other states.  I moved out of my mom's house once when I definitely wasn't ready to; subsequently causing me to move back into my mother's house.  

I started working as a CNA at my current job on March 3rd, 2012 and as of December 9th of this past year I started working as a CMT at my job as well!  It was quite exciting, besides getting my CNA, the only other "degree or diploma" I have is my GED.  Which all three I was so proud of myself for completing when I did.  The feeling of accomplishment is something that I can't compare to anything else.

Since I haven't really gotten to do this before:

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I was starting to get down on myself.  Thinking: was I ever gonna make anything of myself; make it anywhere in life or live with my mom forever?  I had convinced myself I wasn't.  That I was going to become a a part of the walls at work.  Well, while working yesterday, I came home on one of my breaks and got our mail.  Brought it in and saw a large manila envelope for me.  I couldn't think for the life of me what it could of been.

I have been shopping free for a good couple weeks or so!

So, I went and opened it.  Instantly, I was ecstatic.  Instantly, I knew I wasn't going to be a part of the walls.  You see, what I had opened reminded me that I had accomplished something major and that I have before in the past too!  

No I didn't graduate High School like everyone else; I got my GED instead.  

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I haven't gotten a college degree, yet but I have gotten my CNA and have already started working in the field I love.

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The contents also led me to remember the small things I have accomplished within the past year alone.  Overcoming an addiction, seeking help with a therapist, seeking help from a psychiatrist, rebuilding damaged friendships, bonding more with my family, and remembering my priorities.  

Remembering these accomplishments made the contents of the envelope even sweeter for me.  

You see, the big accomplishments are great, you just can't diminish the "little" ones either.  Accomplishments both big and small deserved to be recognized and celebrate.  To remind yourself that your doing things right.  To inspire you to keep moving forward and getting ahead.  To remember that impossible is nothing if you never give up!

That is my message this time, Accomplishments come in all sizes, don't get yourself down because things are taking longer than expected for the large ones and don't ignore the small ones because they are there to keep you going while you strive for greatness!

For those who want to know the contents of the envelope...it was these: 

My Missouri CMT and Insulin Administration certificates and cards! 

One step at a time!

Dear Momma,

Dear Momma,

It's me, your baby boy, here to write you a letter different than anything I have been able to say to you in person.

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To start out, I want to thank you for being the hardworking, caring, loving, and wise mother that you are.  I want to thank you for being patience with me while I try to grow and mature.  I want to thank you for being the forgiving woman that you are to me no matter how many bad things I do.  I want to thank you for being the example of strength to me as you don't let any hard times keep you down or hold you back in life.

On that note, I want to begin by saying I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I have done you wrong many times.  I'm sorry I have acted like a spoiled brat so much in my life.  I'm sorry that I can not be exactly like you.

And for once, I am not saying that in a sarcastic way like I normally would during a fight.  I am saying that from the bottom of my heart because I no matter how hard I try, I am unable to be like you in the way of your strength.  I let hard times keep me down; I let hard times hold me back in life.  I am unable to be strong through the hard times to see that the grass in greener on the other side.

Although, I am able to say that thanks to you, I am able to start learning how to harness my inner strength to get through the hard times.  Everyday, even if you don't see it, you are showing me how to beacon of strength for a family that is meant to be a sitcom on T.V.

For example, last night you showed me how you are able to be strong enough to forgive me for stealing your $100 dollar birthday money last year.  I couldn't lie to you anymore about it, and I am truly sorry for what I did.  I know you are understanding and forgiving to me because I was on drugs at the time I stole it; to me that is not an excuse though.  Being on drugs or not, I should have never stolen your money.  You do everything for me and I took a present given to you to give yourself a break from all you do.  I will pay you back for that, I promise you that with all my heart.

With interest.

I know I usually am not the best at paying you back, but this time I truly mean it.

You have been nothing but an amazing women.  You have sacrificed your life for your family.  You took time off of work to be there with your recovering children.  Before taking time off, you still spent every moment you weren't working at the hospital with at least one of your children.  Before any of your children were hospitalized, you spent every day: waking up your grown kids, giving them rides to work or school, paying bills for everyone, and anything else you were needed to do.

As I type you are driving two of your kids around to appointments before you have to work tonight.

That is love.  

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For Christmas I bought you a necklace that says "Mom is the Heart of Our Family" because it is so true.  The heart works to get blood throughout the body to keep it going.  Which is what you do; you work to keep everyone you love going, growing, and getting through the dark times.  Without you I know our family would fall apart.  We would not be able to keep going.

You are someone we can all always call on or come to just to talk about things.  Someone to come to for advice.  Someone to come to for help and guidance.  Someone who is willing to be accepting and understanding of things you may not agree with.  Someone we all need in our own special way.  

So Mom, I want to write you this, knowing my siblings would agree with me in telling you that we appreciate you, we admire you, we aspire to be half the person you are, we aim to make you proud, and we love you with all of our hearts.

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Sincerely,

Your baby boy Walter